Breaking News: Five Things To Do This Summer

There's big three big stories in the news the last few weeks. First, the royal wedding. A lavish affair, with posh and pageantry, elegence and sofistication (also is the description of my softball swing). Secondly, the death of Osama bin Laden. A special thank you to mr. Geraldo Rivera for making the breaking of the news, one of the most entertainingly poor reporting of news ever. People say they will never forget where they were when they heard the news, I will never forget bumbling words falling out of the mouth beneath that beautiful mustach. Hold it, Hold it, Hold it, urgent: I can confirm, that if you go the the 2:00 mark, you will enjoy this! The third story that everyone has been talking about it, what is Justin planning for the summer? Well, I was planning on letting Geraldo break the news live on his show, but lets just say things got a little out of hand. So we'll now have to settle things in a blog post.

1. Get caught up on George R.R. Martin's Song of Fire and Ice series. Each book is about 1,000 pages and I'm currently 700 pages into the third one. If you don't know anything about the books, it take place in the fictional land of Westeros, where several families conspire and fight to gain the throne.

2. Continue to work out and get in better shape. Due to fused ankles and a bum knee, I mainly run on an eliptical machine. Sadly, I've now forgotten that I have to look where I run, especially in parking lots.

3. Get a little sun out by the pool. After massive testing, it has been confirmed that I'm not an albino and therefore can take in a little sun. I have a wedding to attend to this summer, and would like to look like I haven't seen dead people.

4. Give a fantastic speech at my brother's wedding. After being selected as best man, the excitement of releasing 26 years of frustration towards him in front of family and friends, is overwhelming. I might need a beer to settle my nerves beforehand, but I don't want to drink too much and have this happen.

5. And finally, after years of research and looking I will finally discover Al Capone's vault......Wait, what? You mean? Geraldo!!!!!!!!