Now choosing airport reading material is unlike your typical reading material searches. You can't just chose any ordinary magazine. This choice could determine many things for you're not too distant future. I enjoy sports illustrated, but was fearful that someone would want to sit next to me and talk about the Spurs, which in turn could cause me to later take control of the plane and fly it into the Thunder's stadium, therefore I passed on that selection. Next magazine I saw was Guns and Ammo. I considered this thinking that it would show off my manliness to any woman who would gaze upon me reading. But then I realized that whenever I look at gun magazines, it makes me want to hold up the pictures and make "pew-pew" noises while pointing them at people. I decided to pass on this as well for dueling reasons, first, "pew-pew" noises might cancel out any masculinity that the magazine bought me. And second, I have a strong allergic reaction to being tazed.
I then realized that my scientific method was faulty. I shouldn't be looking at different magazines and determining how I would be perceived reading such material, but determine how I wanted to perceived and then make a decision based on that conclusion. I did not want to come off as sketchy, so playboy and teen bop were eliminated. I wanted to be thought of as female friendly, but not a potential "besty", therefore, people, us weekly and all wedding magazines were off the table. I determined that I didn't want to go extremely the other way and be considered a complete tool, so all car magazines were eliminated. I decided that I wanted to be thought of as a bit of an intellectual, someone that a cute girl would want to sit next to and hold good conversation, and would be still be fun.
This narrowed it down to three magazines. First, a mac world magazine that would show that I am a technologically savvy man, it also might reveal that I have partaken a video game here and there. Second was a financial magazine. I was about to chose this option, but then realized that it might attract a female who would expect me to be loaded and be severely disappointed when she found out that I currently drive a Dodge Dart and do most of my clothes shopping at Kohl's. So through process of elimination my decision was made.
The New Yorker is known to be a sophisticated magazine read by smart people. It also happened to be the science fiction special, showing off my slight nerdiness, but also made it very enjoyable to read. I was very pleased with my selection and felt confident in what those around me thought of me. And I like to think that my magazine was the reason a young Tennessee college student chose to sit next to me on her way home for a summer visit. Unfortunately, I barely spoke to her because I was enthralled in whether the alien was going to be able to avoid capture and return to her home planet. Oh well.....
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