Today we shall take a journey together, to the land of the crazy. One of my best friends was kind enough to inform me of a show on TLC called Sister Wives. For those of you who don't watch TLC or crazy shows, Sister Wives is a show about a "family" in which a man named Kody has three wives and is "engaged" to another woman and all them have children (the fiancee's are from a previous relationship, because premateral sex would be improper and disrespectful to the other three wives). I've decided that this should be a share experience, so I'm going to do a running diary. I'll type what minute in the show something happens, a brief description of the events and then break it down. The episode we are about to watch is mainly focused on Kody and Robin's budding relationship and her moving closer to the family. So as to feel more of a man for typing about a tlc show, I will be doing this as an NFL game. Joe Buck will bring you the play by play and since Troy Aikman couldn't make it due to a concussion from banging his head against the coffee table watching the episode, I will be talking his place in the booth.
A side note, to make things easier on me, each wifey is given a nickname (in this case an nfl coach) as to understand who is who. Meri, his first wife will be known as coughlin due to her slightly crazy look and her demanding personality. Janelle, wife number 2 will be Wade Phillips due to her, umm, stature and just wanting to get along attitude, plus she seems to be a non factor in the episode. Christine, wife three will be Parcells due to her wanting to put her two cents in on all matters. The fiancee will be played herm edwards, due to the fact she is an emotional wreck and dumb enough to marry a man that already has three wives. Kody will simply be known as Kody, since no coach should be insulted in this way. Ok lets get to the action.
Opening credits
Joe Buck: Talked to Kody before the game, he said love should be multiplied not divided, what do you think about that Justin?
Justin: Well Joe, I think he's a bit crazy to think that this episode is going to go well. You look at the numbers and stats and they don't lie. I think we got a clear cut dueche bag who's in for a rough day.
Joe: Ok, lets get to the action.
Minute Two:
Joe: The kids are discussing what to do for Herm's birthday party and say that they want it to be normal so no face painting. Also they note that Herm is only turning 30 which is weird.
Justin: Well Joe, call me old fashion but I like a traditional birthday as well. Having four women in the room that you in a relationship with and all your kids who have different mothers but all call you dad is one thing.... but face painting, lets not push the envelope, people. And as for the age thing, if that's your biggest problem with this situation girls......well here's my phone number... it's ......
Minute Four:
Joe: During the interview Parcells tells the group that she was furious to find out that Kody kiss Herm after proposing saying that she wouldn't do that with a married man till she walked down the isle. Also we have our first Herm cry (1)! It was due to her finding out Parcells was upset. Then she says, "I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know it would break my heart, as well."
Justin: Parcells seems a bit jealous about the attention Herm is getting from the Kode man, I think this could lead to trouble on the wedding night. Quick aside, during the ceremony what do the other wives do? Are they brides maides? At the end of the ceremony does Kody kiss Herm then all three other ones as well? Does he have to carry all four across the threshold? And if so, shouldn't he be in the gym training like Rocky did before facing the Russian, Ivan Drago. As for Herm crying already, I'm shocked to see a woman who is willing marrying a man with three wives and many children already, has emotional issues. Next you'll tell me, that Kody has an awful Keanu Reeves from Bill and Ted hair cut.
Minute 12:
Joe: Well we don't usually comment on commercials during the game, Justin, but did I just see one that made it look like a tiger was in a relationship with man?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBQKBNGwDjQ
Justin: Well Joe, it looks that way. I had to rewind that four times, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I just hope for everyone sake Kody doesn't see that commercial, kids lives may be at stake.
Minute fifteen:
Joe: Kody and the family are all going down south and help Herm move to a house a half mile away from the "big house" and has just called his kids a herd of cats and a goat rodeo.
Justin: Oh no!!!! He's seen the commercial! Animal shelters watch out. Also, big house? Let's call it what it is, a compound.
Joe: I'll toast my punch to that.
Justin: Good one Joe, good one.
Minute sixteen:
Joe: Wade Phillips will not be making the trip, she couldn't get away from work, but says it's good cause she can watch the kids and take charge of the home front while the rest are gone.
Justin: Joe, I'm a little confused. How can you watch the kids and take care of the household if you are working? Did Kody strictly marry Wade to be the housekeeper and not have to pay her? My opinion on Kody is changing a bit.
Minute seventeen:
Joe: Herm says, "it wouldn't be proper to move into the big house, we're not married, duh"
Justin: Oh so your willing to kiss him when you get engaged, but won't live with him till your married......tease.
Minute Eighteen:
Joe: Action is picking up, Herm is crying again while talking about her future "stepdaughter" madison who wants to be in a monogomas relationship.
Justin: You know teen girls rebel against their father, Joe, that's just crazy talk, she'll get her head on straight at some point.
Minute Twenty-Seven:
Joe: We see Coughlin taking over the packing process and getting amusingly perturbed about getting heckled by her 'sisters'. Also, Kody feels like they are trying to make it sound like he's 'impotent' and doesn't do anything.
Justin: Dude, Kody, you got three going on four wives and about a dozen kids. The self deprication is a bit lame. On a side note, sorry my blogging skills aren't great and that this post is so short.
Minute Twenty-Eight:
Joe: We get a musical montage of the family finishing packing, saying bye to their old house and moving to their new one.
Justin: I'm sure the musician who stayed up late for months perfecting his work, will be very pleased that it was used on such a fine show, in such a fine way.
Minute Twenty-Nine:
Joe: Herm says that she has stuff that she's has in storage, that's she's been waiting for this point in her life to use. Then cries for the final time this episode.
Justin: That is one hell of a metaphor for, "I am about to bust out a whole new set of crazy, just you wait."
Post game:
Joe: Well that's the end of the episode final thoughts Justin.
Justin: Well Joe, I thought it was an interesting episode. You had laughter and tears, and drama and more tears, and family bonding and still more tears. But to be honest it was hard to watch too. You got four women married to one guy, which just aint right, and it shows in a half hour episode. Plus all these kids are definitely going to struggle after being on tv on a show like this. I enjoyed this as a one time thing, and will probably never watch it again. Plus I need to save dvr space for that tiger love show on animal planet...
Joe: For Justin, and our cast and crew, we say goodbye and thanks for watching everybody.
(Joe and Justin are shaking hands as Troy stumbles into the booth with a bath robe on with fruity peebles spilled on it asking Justin, "Do I have to go to school today, mommy?" and then vomits on Joe as we cut away.)
Opening credits
Joe Buck: Talked to Kody before the game, he said love should be multiplied not divided, what do you think about that Justin?
Justin: Well Joe, I think he's a bit crazy to think that this episode is going to go well. You look at the numbers and stats and they don't lie. I think we got a clear cut dueche bag who's in for a rough day.
Joe: Ok, lets get to the action.
Minute Two:
Joe: The kids are discussing what to do for Herm's birthday party and say that they want it to be normal so no face painting. Also they note that Herm is only turning 30 which is weird.
Justin: Well Joe, call me old fashion but I like a traditional birthday as well. Having four women in the room that you in a relationship with and all your kids who have different mothers but all call you dad is one thing.... but face painting, lets not push the envelope, people. And as for the age thing, if that's your biggest problem with this situation girls......well here's my phone number... it's ......
Minute Four:
Joe: During the interview Parcells tells the group that she was furious to find out that Kody kiss Herm after proposing saying that she wouldn't do that with a married man till she walked down the isle. Also we have our first Herm cry (1)! It was due to her finding out Parcells was upset. Then she says, "I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know it would break my heart, as well."
Justin: Parcells seems a bit jealous about the attention Herm is getting from the Kode man, I think this could lead to trouble on the wedding night. Quick aside, during the ceremony what do the other wives do? Are they brides maides? At the end of the ceremony does Kody kiss Herm then all three other ones as well? Does he have to carry all four across the threshold? And if so, shouldn't he be in the gym training like Rocky did before facing the Russian, Ivan Drago. As for Herm crying already, I'm shocked to see a woman who is willing marrying a man with three wives and many children already, has emotional issues. Next you'll tell me, that Kody has an awful Keanu Reeves from Bill and Ted hair cut.
Minute 12:
Joe: Well we don't usually comment on commercials during the game, Justin, but did I just see one that made it look like a tiger was in a relationship with man?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBQKBNGwDjQ
Justin: Well Joe, it looks that way. I had to rewind that four times, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I just hope for everyone sake Kody doesn't see that commercial, kids lives may be at stake.
Minute fifteen:
Joe: Kody and the family are all going down south and help Herm move to a house a half mile away from the "big house" and has just called his kids a herd of cats and a goat rodeo.
Justin: Oh no!!!! He's seen the commercial! Animal shelters watch out. Also, big house? Let's call it what it is, a compound.
Joe: I'll toast my punch to that.
Justin: Good one Joe, good one.
Minute sixteen:
Joe: Wade Phillips will not be making the trip, she couldn't get away from work, but says it's good cause she can watch the kids and take charge of the home front while the rest are gone.
Justin: Joe, I'm a little confused. How can you watch the kids and take care of the household if you are working? Did Kody strictly marry Wade to be the housekeeper and not have to pay her? My opinion on Kody is changing a bit.
Minute seventeen:
Joe: Herm says, "it wouldn't be proper to move into the big house, we're not married, duh"
Justin: Oh so your willing to kiss him when you get engaged, but won't live with him till your married......tease.
Minute Eighteen:
Joe: Action is picking up, Herm is crying again while talking about her future "stepdaughter" madison who wants to be in a monogomas relationship.
Justin: You know teen girls rebel against their father, Joe, that's just crazy talk, she'll get her head on straight at some point.
Minute Twenty-Seven:
Joe: We see Coughlin taking over the packing process and getting amusingly perturbed about getting heckled by her 'sisters'. Also, Kody feels like they are trying to make it sound like he's 'impotent' and doesn't do anything.
Justin: Dude, Kody, you got three going on four wives and about a dozen kids. The self deprication is a bit lame. On a side note, sorry my blogging skills aren't great and that this post is so short.
Minute Twenty-Eight:
Joe: We get a musical montage of the family finishing packing, saying bye to their old house and moving to their new one.
Justin: I'm sure the musician who stayed up late for months perfecting his work, will be very pleased that it was used on such a fine show, in such a fine way.
Minute Twenty-Nine:
Joe: Herm says that she has stuff that she's has in storage, that's she's been waiting for this point in her life to use. Then cries for the final time this episode.
Justin: That is one hell of a metaphor for, "I am about to bust out a whole new set of crazy, just you wait."
Post game:
Joe: Well that's the end of the episode final thoughts Justin.
Justin: Well Joe, I thought it was an interesting episode. You had laughter and tears, and drama and more tears, and family bonding and still more tears. But to be honest it was hard to watch too. You got four women married to one guy, which just aint right, and it shows in a half hour episode. Plus all these kids are definitely going to struggle after being on tv on a show like this. I enjoyed this as a one time thing, and will probably never watch it again. Plus I need to save dvr space for that tiger love show on animal planet...
Joe: For Justin, and our cast and crew, we say goodbye and thanks for watching everybody.
(Joe and Justin are shaking hands as Troy stumbles into the booth with a bath robe on with fruity peebles spilled on it asking Justin, "Do I have to go to school today, mommy?" and then vomits on Joe as we cut away.)
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